Ideas and thoughts for the message behind "Demure"

If I am lost... then how can I find myself? Does pain have a tempo? Can I truly know where I want to arrive if I don’t know where I am now?

I keep thinking but this just makes it worse. One question leads to another and another and I get lost in this vortex of words and thoughts but they don’t seem to have any correlation, and they certainly don’t lead to any conclusion.

It’s pretty much my fault. I don’t try hard enough, I have this routine, a circle that goes around and around and I’m aware of it but I never break it. Do I want to?...

And I’m so alone, empty. The world around me is empty. And quiet, so still, so tired. But it’s not a grey kind of empty, it’s yellow, the kind that makes you sick. Like urine, depression and forgetfulness.

There are some that have tried to interfere, to help...and there might be others that will. Sometimes I try to accept them, to have patience. Once I even believed she might understand and have a worthwhile influence. Should I accept my fait as obsolete? Maybe I already have. But if I was to keep going...where would I begin? Where would I end up?